I hate Marian Hossa.
Yes, actually hate. My blood boils whenever I see that mug on television. Here's a short list of the reasons why.
1. He's a former Ottawa Senator. Ottawa Senators represent to me a group of whiney sore losers who cower when the going gets tough. Four straight playoff exits at the ends of the supposedly inferior Maple Leafs (Yes, I am allowed to bring this up despite the regular season results); a Stanley Cup final choking display unlike anything we've seen since Toronto's 6 shot showing against the Devils in 2000 to lose in the second round; a 3rd period collapse that they had the nerve to blame on a 1 celled organism, granted "Krusty" Alfredsson took the high road; Magnus 'Stickwork' Arvedson getting pummelled by Domi after repeatedly provoking him; Martin Havlat kicking then Boston Bruin Hal Gill; I could go on and on. The point is, they are weenies.
2. He's better at hockey in a coma then I will ever be.
3. His name is Marian. Mary Ann. He has a girls name. So from now on, whenever you watch a game of hockey and Mary Ann Hossa touches the puck, I want you all to say in a reserved, direct fashion "That guy's name is Marian" then snicker to yourself. You will feel better and your friends will laugh. Trust me. I have a friend that does this constantly and we still laugh every time he does it, despite having heard it well over a hundred times.
4. He jumped ship to the team that beat him in the finals. It's gutless and I won't respect his Stanley Cup ring when he gets it this year. The only thing worse than that would be if Johnny Damon left the Red Sox and signed with the Yankees. That happened already? Crap. Ok, the only thing worse would be if Manny Ramirez signed with the Yankees in the off-season.
5. Bryan Berard. This damn senator Mary Ann Hossa couldn't control his follow through and destroyed what would have been a spectacular career and a dominating blue line for the Leafs. There's no telling how good a player Bryan Berard was going to get. He was a slick moving, up and coming defenseman with all the promise in the world. In a split second, Mary Ann changed the face of the Leafs and robbed them of a Stanley Cup.... Ok, maybe not. But it was a drastic change that the Leafs had to deal with as Berard was to be part of their plans on the back end for years to come.
This moment in time gave birth to a new word.
Hossa
-Verb
1. To be the recipient of a high stick infraction that may or may not draw blood
Berard was hossa'ed by the opposition.
-Noun
1. A player who is known for his frequent high stick infractions
2. A high stick infraction
McSorely is a real hossa'er. Wayne Gretzky committed the most obvious hossa ever in history to everyone without the name Kerry Fraser.
-Adjective
1. To be in danger of committing a high stick infraction
Mary Ann is really hossa'ing it up out there.
Feel free to add more of your own.
Next time you are watching a game with your fellow Leaf fans always remember to replace the term "high sticking" with "Hossa'ing".
As I finish writing this entry, I realize one more thing about Marian Hossa: The longer you look at and type the word Hossa, the more foolish you realize the word looks and sounds.
I hate you, Marian Hossa.
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5 comments:
Actually, that Berard eve injury was worst than you portray. Hossa ("hoser") was swinging his stick while doing a 180 like he was trying hit a home run 500 feet and the puck was several feet away!
Because Bryan's career was basically wiped out, it takes years to replace a true talent like Berard. I still don't think the Leafs have replaced his talent on the blueline although Schenn might be the closest but he doesn't have Berard's offensive potential.
Win.
Agreed, on all counts. Every time I watch a game, all I can think of is the fact that, "that guy's name is Marian", and I laugh my ass off. It's amazing how it makes me feel better :D
I just watched a clip of the Berard hit on Youtube, and had to ask myself: How could someone be so irresponsible? It may not have been intentional, but when one gives a group of 6-foot, 200-some-odd-pound guys (even those named Marian) weapons and blades on their feet when emotions are running high, things are bound to get ugly.
I lost all respect for him when he joined the Wings. Maybe he'll pull a Cujo; you know, go crying to Ray Shero and the Pens when Detroit gets swept in the first round by a the worst team in the league like, say, Ottawa.
Hossa=epic fail
i think i love you.
1. Ironically that stuff you're happened under Jacques Martin and your first point is more about sens hate than Hossa hate. They don't choke anymore and I find toronto's best games come against either montreal or ottawa. jacque Martin's usually never encourages players to fight just hit.
2. Sounds like envy
3. Marian is a neutral name it can a name for a guy or a girl. Way to act like an stupid idiot and your friends are idiots for doing that.
4. Let me fill you in on what you don't know Hossa originally wanted to be traded to Detroit but couldn't go there since Hossa never had a no trade clause he never had a say in where he would go. The move to pittsburgh was a agreement between Hossa's agent, Atlanta's General manager and Ray shero. After that season Hossa had the option to sign with any Nhl Team He chose Detroit.
5. Now you're just holding a grudge I don't know if you know this but after that incident Hossa went to visit Berard. I'm surprised no one mentions about how Max Talbot robbed Detroit of the cup by slashing Datsyuk's foot Now that is robbery.
Y'all took this way too seriously 😂
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